Sex and Driving

I have some very important facts to relay to you about individuals who pilot automobiles. I learned these facts through some very intensive research (ie, sitting in traffic this morning).


It has long been known as a hard fact that men who drive fancy sports car have inadequately sized genitalia.

However, it is much less commonly known that all those women who cut you off in traffic also feel sexually inadequate, though the particular shape and size of their genitalia may not be an issue.


It is even rarer a fact that men and women who drive luxury SUV's are completely incapable of having an orgasm. Anyone who drives a hummer has an incredibly intense and incredibly taboo fetish, like baby pigeons or nipple electrocution, and they feel too ashamed to let anyone know, let alone to act on their impulses. They have never had an enjoyable sexual experience.

Those who drive the speed limit in practical cars (with some exceptions) are getting laid.

Those who drive about ten over the speed limit in practical cars ought to masturbate more.

Those who drive reasonably practical cars and speed like fools, weaving in and out of traffic, risking their lives and those of all the people around them have no frightful fetishes, nor does their genitalia rank below par. They simply have such awful personalities that they can't get into anyone's pants.


I'm sure there are many more compelling facts of this nature, and I hope you'll invent them and share them with me.